MORE ON TRAINS

source.

Recently I downloaded an app onto my Android (I can't remember what it was for) and set up notifications for it. The notification went off sometime over the weekend and the noise actually made my heart stop. Why? Because it was the same noise I'd set for my email when I first started querying (I've since changed the notification sound). Every time my phone made that noise my heart jumped into my throat and I wanted to vomit over everything. If you're anything like me, once things become attached to an event, they never un-attach. So I came up with a list of ways to make your present and post-querying life easier.

1. Make everything query specific.  The notification on your phone, the labels in your inbox, the music you listen to - if you attach things to events make sure that you have things that are query specific and that you don't mind absolving yourself of after every thing winds down and you no longer want to vomit.
2. Don't listen to your manuscripts soundtrack. I couldn't listen to We, the Risen's soundtrack, even if I had been so inclined. Anything associated with it made me want to throw myself off the edge of a cliff. But yesterday, a song that a played repeatedly during revisions showed up on Pandora and I could enjoy it without barfing. If I had listened to it during query time, I would have skipped it yesterday and possibly thrown myself out of my chair (as there was no cliff in sight).
3. Don't read your manuscript while querying. This (like everything in this post) goes back to the vomit-y feeling that will attach. I think I spent the entire process trying to decide if I wanted to choke on my heart or throw up everything I had ever eaten. Just re-reading my query and the first ten pages I sent along made me nauseous. And I'm really, really glad I didn't reread it while I queried  - doing revisions with a heart-in-your-throat feeling would not have been fun.
4. Find a new project. One of the things that made waiting so much easier was planning other projects. I'd tell myself: even if We, the Risen doesn't work out, I have something else. I have a project that I am as passionate about, that I love as much, that is speaking to me as much as We, the Risen did. It meant that went rejections started coming in I didn't want to throw up as much. And it gave me hope because even if it hadn't worked out I had another piece of myself that I was working on.
5. Lay off the coffee/caffeine. I know! I know. It sounds so ridiculous since most of run our lives on caffeine. But - and this might just be me - I had a lot of trouble eating while I queried. Breakfast became an optional meal, and lunch was sometimes cheese. When there is less food in your system, coffee can affect you in all the wrong ways. Shaky hands, headaches, wanting to throw up even more than before. I'm not saying give it up completely - but replace it with other things or cut back. Black tea is a good replacement. Or cut your two cups down to one. Or the espresso to regular coffee.

Those are just some of the ways I coped with being on the query train. How do you/did you/will you cope with it?

TRAINS & THANK YOU

source.

So. I am staring at my right side bar (which is a ranking of most popular posts)* and my last post (here) has become the second most popular post most popular post (since I posted this it has climbed) on my blog in a week. It's surpassed The Other - I'm Not It, and It's the Fear (which have, until this past week, been the most trafficked posts on this blog).

Wow. Thank you guys so, so much for all your congratulations and kind words.You have no idea how much I appreciate it, and how giddy I was (and still am!) as your kind words poured in. I'm still trying to figure out how to get back on track with blogging consistently while maintaining a certain level of quality, so bear with me please!

This post is one part thank you post and one part very flimsy how-to advice (because nothing works for everyone and what worked for me might not work for you).

Fact: I could not have revised my manuscript or gotten on the query train, or stayed on the query train (I think at one point I said: me no gusta no me gusta el query train, which is awful Spanish, but you get the gist) without amazing support. It would have been impossible. Writing is an isolating endeavor. It's emotionally stressful - just the act will make you rip out your hair (you all know what I'm talking about). You (or maybe just me) cannot - or maybe should not - do it alone.

I am incredibly blessed to have a mother and two sisters who have supported me every, single step of the way. I am doubly blessed to have friends in the young adult community who cheered me on all the time, who cheered me up when I was ready to throw the towel in, who made sure to tell me that what I was feeling was normal and that patience was necessary and that I was awesome (whether that's true is up for grabs, but flattery never hurts during any part of this process).

And I think the best and most important thing that I've taken away from this process** is that you need that. You need a support system that will prop you up when you want to fall down, who will force you back on the train while telling you that it's going to take you somewhere amazing. Whether you find them on Twitter (how I met Sarah), or on a forum (how I met Kristin and Dawn) or through their blog (how I met Tahereh), go out and meet people. Connect. Make friends. They will be invaluable once you get on that train (I really have a thing for trains today, I don't know why) and really, desperately want to jump off.

How have you all met friends and critique partners? And are you talkers or lurkers on blogs? Inquiring minds (aka the lurker) want to know!

*Apparently I also really like parenthetical asides today.
**Lord knows I didn't learn patience. Not even a little bit.

A SAFE PLACE

I meant to write a post yesterday, and in fact, it is sitting, half finished, in my blogger posts section thing. Then my day went from bad (I passed out on the couch with Paradise Regained on my lap at 4am) to worse (what this post will be about).

When I first started at my university, I planned on taking creative writing classes. I think they're useful for polishing craft and learning about the way that other people both produce work and then revise it. But, I also knew (or thought I knew) that I would hate them. I expected pretentious professors, equally pretentious student and to not be taken seriously as a writer (because the only thing that I can ever turn out or enjoy turning out is speculative fiction).

I didn't take my first creative writing class (outside of high school, where I had an amazing experience with Mr. Cunningham) until the fall of my sophomore year. I was terrified but new that if I wanted to graduate with a creative writing degree or take independent study my junior and senior year, I would have to do it. I would have to  deal with the demoralization.

Thank God, I didn't.

My first professor was amazing. She was a former editor for Playboy; she was vibrant, welcoming, and supportive. Before I'd ever told her I wanted to apply for the Creative Writing major, she told me that I should. When I expressed fear before my first workshop experience, she told me that I'd be fine, that the students were supportive, that even if they weren't, she would be. I came out of that class thinking, "I'm so blessed that my school is different" and happily applied for the following creative writing course. My experience in that class was even better. The focus was fiction writing (as opposed to my first class which was fiction, creative non-fiction and poetry) so I got to write a lot of what I wanted, when I wanted, how I wanted. My classmates were amazing, my professor was amazing, and my experience went beyond anything that I could have imagined. And when this professor recommended who to take for the sequential course, I happily took her recommendation.

I wish I hadn't.

The backbone of any creative writing class is the workshop. You submit your work to your classmates and they dissect it. They tell you what they liked, what worked, what they didn't like and what didn't work. For the workshop to work, the writer has to trust that her or his critics are honest and truthful and know what they're talking about. And the critics have to work to give the writer valuable feedback.

The professor has minimal involvement in this process. Their job is to monitor the discussion and make sure that it is helpful, to step in when they feel the students have gone off course, and to elaborate on points that they think are important. If a workshop is going well, you should never hear the professors voice: they already know what to do - it's the students' opportunity to learn how to give critique and take critique.  

My current professor is one in an amazing department at my university. But she makes me question how she could have been teaching creative writing for ten years. The workshop, which I considered a safe and often times empowering enviroment, is now - in her class - something I don't want any part in. Not only does she dominate the discussion, thereby removing the students' ability to learn, but she does it rudely. She interrupts students making points, and when she does make points, they are usually unrelated to the discussion. Yesterday, she pantomimed a passage from the work we were workshopping, and ranted for more than five minutes about how horrible, terrible and poorly written it was. In front of the writer. In front of the entire class. I was too mortified to look at the writer.

This cannot happen.

A workshop is supposed to be a safe environment where you can submit work and hope to improve. It's not an opportunity to rant on how much you hate a style. And it can be effective in deterring a person from writing or taking your criticisms seriously when you do what the professor did. Now, I don't want to submit to the class. I don't want to be in this class at all. And if I didn't need it to qualify for independent study in the spring, I would drop it right now.

If you'd like, feel free to share your horror stories and your good stories about creative writing professors. Who's shaped you as a writer and who has done the opposite?

The twitter giveaway is still going! I'll be giving away two books today since I forgot about it yesterday. Look forward to it! :) And have a great week!

I CANT BELIEVE IT HAPPENED

So, I promise I will get to all the LOVELY AND AMAZING AND OMG YOU GUYS MADE ME CRY comments on the post before last. I promise. But I have been working non-stop since I got back to school Sunday night and it's very sad. And time consuming. Rest assured, however, that I am slowly but surely getting back on track and  stuff. As I said in the last post, the schedule on here will shift from Tuesdays and Thursdays to Mondays and Wednesdays. When I miss those days, I will endeavor to post twice a week on other days.

So, I've been trying to write this post for two weeks. And then I went to see Inception and wanted to combine that post with something that struck me while I was watching it. But the two ideas, while compatible, could serve as two separate posts, so this post I will be talking about stakes and then the next post I will be talking about killing, and then after that I will tell you about the pitfalls of being both a writer and an English Literature student at the university level.

Right. So. STAKES.


Please be aware that this post will include spoilers for Inception. Which you should have seen. I am always the very last person to see a movie. And I have seen it. Therefore, you should have seen it as well.

The stakes in the movie are very clear from the get go. Cobb, with the help of trusty sidekicks, must plan an idea in the mind of Fischer, Jr. In return, he will be able to return to his family, from which he has been separated from on account of the United States government wanting to lock him up. The inception will take place on a plane headed for Los Angeles - if he doesn't succeed, the authorities will arrest him the minute he touches down on US soil. If he does, he's a free man.

The stakes are already very high. If Cobb doesn't pull this heist off in the time allotted to him a lot of bad things will happen. By the time they entered Fischer, Jr's dream I was on the edge of my seat. How could this movie get anymore gripping? I thought to myself. How could the situation be anymore tantalizing? 


And then it was.

Before I tell you how it was, let's back up. Because one thing went into making this moment SO OMG WHAT WHAT WHAT?!

I loved Saito. I loved him so much. I was invested in his fate.

So when he was shot, I was horrified that they might give him the kick and then he would be gone for the rest of the movie. No. No they didn't. Instead, he was actually dying and if he did die, he would float down to limbo and sit there, forgetting about reality, until he actually died.

And suddenly, Cobb and Company have an entirely new, just as pressing, reason to complete the mission in the alloted time. Because they could lose Saito forever. And Saito is the key to Cobb getting his family back. He's the only one who can make it happen.

This is what I've been trying to do with my work. Because you can't just have stakes. You have to have stakes that matter. And they have to be deeply enmeshed with the rest of the story - with its characters, with the story line, with the inevitability of whatever resolution it must come to. And finding those stakes is hard. Finding it in yourself to put those stakes to the test, to the very limit is sometimes even harder.

How do you guys do it? Any good examples? TELL ALL, IF YOU PLEASE.

ITS THE FEAR

Credit goes to Jordin Robin

So, originally I was going to talk about Inception and the amazingness that it was and basically what it taught me (in conjunction with some other things) but I've decided to slot that for a later date (probably Tuesday). I talk about a lot of things on this blog, and nearly all of it is related to writing. I've talked about doubt, sanity, insanity, madness, the writing daze, the writing craze, deadlines - the list goes on. Of course it does. I've been blogging regularly for more than a year now.

One thing I never talk about is fear. Because I like to avoid any and all mentions of fear and just keep trudging along with blinders on. But I've decided (in lieu of a revelation and a panic attack) that maybe I should tackle that topic today.

I've written two completed manuscripts. They are sitting in my little cyber drawers, gathering dust. The first terrified me so much that I never even revised it. I made revision notes, started school and then locked it away. The second I revised, received some agent interest, sent out to betas, queried only a very little (read, three times) and then decided I wanted to rewrite. The rewrite has exploded into something amazing and beautiful and I love it.

But I loved my first two manuscripts, too. I loved them so much. I wrote 20k of The Scion in one week - that's how much I loved it. And I wrote nearly (or more) than 80k of The Pawn (I don't want to talk about how INCREDIBLY MAMMOTH that book is) over the course of three months. I went on writing frenzies, and made covers and playlists and drowned myself in the worlds that I created. But when it came time to buck up and start sending out queries and trying to get my work out there, I freaked.

I love my work. I love it so much. So I'm not objective. I'm not a good judge of how publishable or marketable or good my work is. I don't write for trends. I don't write to please anyone but me. I write what I want and hope that in the end it's good enough, gripping enough, emotional enough, that the world will want to read it. That the world will want to pay to read it.

And I'm afraid. I'm so afraid that it's not good enough. That it's not gripping enough. That it's not emotional enough. I struggle and I gripe and I lay in bed at night avoiding thoughts of sending out queries and having other people who have the ability to reject me read it.

The fear dies down. It always does. But when it's there, it's crippling. Rejection is a reality in this business. Someone, somewhere is going to not like what I write. And I have to trust in the goodness of my work and  in the honesty of my beta readers. I have to trust that when I see a problem or one is pointed out to me I will work and work hard to fix it. That I will do what I have to do and buck up and be a writer.

I have to ask? Do you guys deal with this issue? How? I could seriously use some answers, haha.

THINGS I REALIZED IN RAMADHAN

So Ramadhan is nearly over and I can hardly believe it! By next Saturday, fasting will be done, Taraweeh prayers will be over and I will have my sweet, wonderful coffee back at 9am every morning and 2pm every afternoon. It has been a productive month in many ways and I've learned a few things. I will share these things with you.

1. If you know you need coffee to run on a full day, go to sleep at midnight (NO LATER!) and drink coffee at 4:30am (when you have to wake up for one of two meals you're getting that day). Otherwise, withdrawal symptoms will appear and you will suffer. A lot. 
2. Eat filling breakfasts. Note: filling and big are not the same. Oatmeal is good for tiding a person over the sixteen hours that you will be without food (and coffee).
3. If you know that you will be hungry by 2pm and you want to get writing done that day, write in the morning. Especially if you're a desk monkey with nothing to do except play Adventure Time games and watching The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack on your laptop. (Yes. I know. My life is sad.)
4. You can't think on an empty stomach that wants to eat you. It's. Not. Possible.
5. Seriously, though - write in the morning. You have to sleep early so that you can get up to eat at 4:30am. And you can't write between Taraweeh (that ends at 11) and midnight. Plus there's school. This is really in your best interest. 

What - if anything - have you learned in the past month (doesn't have to be Ramadhan related!)? 

ON THE RAVEN'S WING: VEE

ON THE RAVENS WINGS INTERVIEW SERIES 

On the Raven’s Wings is an interview series presented by Sumayyah of The Raven Desk blog. It interviews aspiring writers (both agented and un-agented alike) to get their perspective on writing, the business and life. This week, I'm interviewing Vee (known as Ink on the AbsoluteWrite forums). Welcome, Vee! 

Q: Why don’t you tell us a little about yourself?
A:Oh God, I hate this question. Mostly because there aren’t many things about me that are quantifiable that I can say (this is a complicated way to say I’m boring). I’ll stick to the basics: I’m seventeen, I like to write and I’m currently working on my third novel while querying the shit out of the second.

Q: What genre do you write? What attracted you to this genre?
A:I write YA – all sorts, dystopian, fantasy, contemporary. Maybe I just write in this genre because I’m a teen and I’m writing what I know, but I like to think it’s more than that. I like to think I write about teens because there’s something about the feelings explored in YA fiction that just floors me – wanderlust, coming of age, self actualization. These are all things I want to explore in my writing, and YA allows me to do that.

Q: What are you currently working on at the moment? How was the story inspired?
A:I’m working on an urban fantasy with dystopian elements currently titled PIPER’S REALM. I guess I got inspired when I was doing edits of my other novels and noticed that pretty much all of them have a reference to the Pied Piper. There’s something about the myth of a person who can lure children with music that fascinates me. So I decided to write a story about a girl who knows and falls in love with the Pied Piper without knowing that’s what he is.

Q: Is there a place you like to go to write? Are there any rituals you stick to when writing a story?
A:I write every day and I guess that’s my ritual. In my moleskines. On the laptop. On my arms. Writing as body art is actually quite fun. I strongly recommend it.

Q: What is your favorite thing about writing? Why?
A: I’m going to cheat and say two things. The first is playing God. This is especially true when I write books that are fantastical enough to have alternate universes, like PIPER’S REALM. Not only do I get to create people and shuffle them through situations that are awkward, poignant and funny, I also get to slip into a mystical realm for a little while. And anyone who knows me will tell you that I live for escapism.

The second thing is putting a little piece of myself out into the world. I know the world rails against self-insertion and Mary Sues and whatever else, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the ideas that are always spinning in my head. Every book that I write is a snapshot of my frame of mind at a certain point in my life, and even if I don’t know what that frame of mind is now, twenty years from now when I read these novels, I’ll hopefully be able to work it out

Q: If you had to pick a soundtrack for your current WIP, what songs/bands would be on it?
A:Muse. I think everyone who knows me is aware of the fact that I’m a massive Muse fangirl (maybe it’s a sign that I’m the new Stephenie Meyer?). Songs like Unintended, Nature and Bliss by Muse are on my playlist.

But for PIPER’S REALM, I really have to give props to MGMT. The book has a very surreal feel to it and watching the Electric Feel video on repeat gets me in the right mood to write about my false paradise. Also, thanks to you Sumayyah, for recommending the Fountain OST to me.

Other artists on my playlist: Radiohead, Pavement, Arctic Monkeys, Weezer (old school), Franz Ferdinand, Death Cab for Cutie, Kasabian, The Kooks, Regina Spektor, Ingrid Michaelson , Imogen Heap and Schubert.

Q: What is your favorite thing about your current work? Who is your favorite character to write?
A:Riley van Harlen, hands down. Just for the name, obviously. And then there’s the fact that in order to create a truly conflicted character I decided to draw on the myth of the Pied Piper and then combine it with Peter Pan. Riley is both Captain Hook and Peter and my dystopian world is a Neverland of sorts with a contemporary twist.

Q: What plans do you have for the future writing wise? Any new ideas in your mind?
A:This year is going to be all about querying and finding the right person to represent my work. As for long term plans with writing – I just want to get better, and I eventually want to be able to do this full time, whether it’s when I’m twenty-six of sixty. And like choco and some of the other twifties, I want to be living in a castle.

The SNI (Shiny New Idea for those of you who don’t frequent Absolute Write) I’m currently in love with is called THE GNOME IS WATCHING. It’s about a girl whose best friend commits suicide in her garden during a party. But as the book unfolds (and there’s some pretty psycho edgy stuff as it unfolds, like human dartboards, because this novel is a bit Fight Club-esque) it becomes clear that she didn’t want to kill herself – someone pushed her. The question is who. The answer is…Not telling.

Q: What keeps you from losing interest in your work? How do you make sure you finish a project?
A:I subscribe to the BIC method (Butt in Chair). I also eat a lot of chocolate and cookies during drafts and if I’m stuck with anything I listen to Weezer. Weezer is my ultimate no-more-writers-block music. Sometimes I make up words like I did in that last sentence and it helps me loosen up.

Q: What’s the best part of finishing up a novel?
A:You get closure and this massive sense of accomplishment. It’s like, hell, I might have failed calculus to do this but here’s this product and it’s so tangible and real and wonderful (even if it’s a shitty first draft).

I love the idea that something that was nothing more than an errant thought in my head can become something other people can read. That I can give people a ‘grand tour’ of my mind, I guess.

Q: What advice do you have for writers, both veteran and amateur?
A: Taking advice from me is a really bad idea.

But I guess I’d say just keep on writing, because if you keep on going you’re bound to write something that resonates one day. Also, don’t dream of becoming the next Austen – just sets you up for failure.

Vee has since completed her search for an agent and is paired with the fabulous Ammi-Joan Paquette of the Erin Murphy Literary Agency. Her novel THE COLORS OF SKY is currently on submission with publishers!

FLUIDITY IN CREATION

I really like this layout. Very, very much. And I promise I won't change it again. I promise. This layout will last at least through January. Hopefully, I'll be too busy with school and blogging and writing and trying to have a very small, contained social life to even consider going through the pain of customizing a layout into something that I like. (This one was dark and gloomy and there was no picture where those lovely little birds are, only darkness and text.)

Like I said in my last post, I've got a small (really, very tiny I hope) back log of interviews that I nabbed from super awesome writerly-friends that I'll be posting on the blog over the next few weeks. I've just got to spruce up the formatting and time the posts, and that will be done! I've also got a guest post coming up on Kirsten's blog at the end of the month, so keep an eye out for that! And finally, I am having a give away for the loot I scored at ALA this summer. I'll be reading them first and then sending them out to you guys(provided you win). All the books are October/November/December releases. Since September is right around the corner, I feel guilty giving away copies that the author won't be reimbursed for right before their books are out. So yeah. Late fall release contest - the prizes and entry details will be up in a few days.

So. So I feel there's this myth about out-liners. Once the outliner has outlined, the myth says, that's it. The story will follow the outline to it's logical conclusion and that's that. The outline is law, and it is followed to the letter.

As an outliner, I feel it's important to point out that that is wrong. An outline is just like a story: fluid. I have four pages in outline, and almost thirty pages in back story and world building notes. I have the names of barons, districts, provinces, bordering countries, and trade routes. I have royalty from other countries, events that shaped my characters' present circumstances, and hierarchies. (And for those of you shaking your head 'no, no, no' let me assure you that most of this stuff never makes it into the page - but, that's a post for another time).

But all of these things have the ability to change. Characters make decisions that don't necessarily lead to the planned outcome, or you choose to have different outcomes which necessitates a different decision. You write a character a certain way and realize that he's not the villain, but your character's future best friend and maybe even a victim, too.

Creation, and following that, creativity, is a fluid process. Things are made to change. Even if it's not at the outline stage, you expect your characters to grow and evolve. And so too can your outline. And when an opportunity for change presents itself - whether the form is in an epiphany or a snatch of dialogue or whatever - explore it, at least a little.There's usually a reason it popped up.

So what about you guys? Is the story writing process a fluid thing or a rigid, unchanging beast?

READERS AND BOOKS AND STUFF

I should be writing, but I've become incredibly skilled at finding ways to procrastinate, so here I am, typing a post into blogger. I might make a new header for this blog, too. And then go ahead and make a cover for my work-in-progress. SPEAKING OF BOOK COVERS. If you are one of three winners of the last Raven's Design contest, please email me (or I shall email you soon) so we can get on starting to design these things.

Anyway. Today's post. I'm pretty sure 90% (and if not 100%) of the people who read this blog are all writers. Yes? Maybe? Probably? I'm also pretty sure that whether or not you're a writer, you're a reader. And a good portion of you are probably reviewers, too.

About a week ago, Sandy wrote a post asking how people felt about writers/published authors reviewing books. And a few days ago, tweets from RomCon popped up in my twitter feed from a panel about review sites and how reviews should be written, etc. And it got me thinking.

As a reader who depends a lot on reviews to guide what I will and will not buy, I want honest reviews of what's out there. Keeping in mind (in my opinion, anyway) that a review can never be objective because reading by its very nature is a subjective activity (huge divide between people who like Twilight and people who don't being the most obvious indicator) I like a review that points out the good and the bad. This doesn't mean I like reviews that bash the author or the writing or who simply say 'This book was atrocious! DON'T BUY IT.' (quite honestly I can't take those reviews seriously).

But it does mean that I like an honest assessment of what the reader thought was the book's flaws, what could have been improved and what didn't resonate with the reader personally. As a writer who hopes to one day be a published author with books on shelves and review blogs, I think this part of the writer/reader/reviewer community is hugely important. No book, no matter how amazing, is flawless. And as a writer, I would like to be able to take all forms of constructive criticism (though I suspect this is easier said than done). Reviews are a part of that.

I think that asking reviewers to only hand out glowing reviews negates the point of the review system. Reviewers are people, too. They have likes and dislikes. And they have a right to dislike a book and point out what about the book they disliked. Like I said in my last post, bashing the author is useless and hurtful and shouldn't be a part of the system. But pointing out in a respectful way what you didn't like about a piece of work shouldn't be looked down on. Reviewers aren't serving the author, they're serving the reading public. They're there to advice readers what to buy, not boost author sales (even though most of us would like that the reviews boosted sales).

So I think it's unfair, to a certain degree, to denigrate the usefulness of a review that points out in a respectful way the qualities of a book that they didn't agree with. Even if that's all the review does.

*though I won't lie and say that I would like to have negative reviews and that I won't rant and rave (privately, of course) over negative reviews that I may or may not receive if I'm ever published. I'm only human after all. ;) 

PLANS, PLANS, MORE PLANS

FIRST. Well. Several things first. Most important and recent is this:

THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA HAS ADVANCED FROM GROUP STAGE. Not only did we advance, we beat the entire group. We beat  England and Slovenia and Algeria. I am sending HUGE AMOUNTS OF LOVE to the United States team, especially Donovan who managed that kick in the last TWO MINUTES OF THE GAME. We here in the states (especially the nation's capital) are very excited to see how you do in the round of 16 and are praying, most fervently, that you continue to advance. 


Secondly. I want to thank you guys for all the fabulous and supportive comments I got for my last blog post. I also got one very amazing email that nearly had me in tears and I just want to send out millions of hugs and kisses to you guys. I couldn't do any of this without you. In fact, I don't know how I did it so long with out you guys. 


So yes. That. Now. Onto the blog post. Just a heads up that another kind of op-ed-ish article is in the works, but like always, got to work the kinks out and make it intelligible before I post it. In the mean time. We have this. -points to rest of post-

I never really blogged about what the beginning processes of starting a novel are like for me. I think you guys know that it's very, very structured and there's a lot of outlining involved, but beyond that, maybe nothing? I'm posting this in the hopes that maybe my way will help you on your way somewhere down the road. 


My beginning is very scattered. I usually take a blank sheet of printer paper and just start writing random stuff.   Random ideas that have been percolating and swimming around my head, scenes that have birthed other scenes that have birthed movie trailers in my head. All of this goes on a few sheets of white paper. The end result is a bunch of incoherent, often unconnected sentences. 

From there, I pick out the stuff that not only stands out, but has a chance of being connected. If a character is screaming that's mine, I take it and match it with her/him. Eventually, I have a fully grown character, and a setting. Sometimes I get a whiff of plot. Once that happens, I make a list (I really love lists, guys. Lots of them are involved in the making of a novel a la Sumayyah) of ALL THE TERRIBLE/BAD/AWFUL THINGS THAT COULD HAPPEN.

Sometime one jumps off the page and attaches to my character. Sometimes I have to go back to the stage one and start scribbling again. Once I have an terrible/bad/awful thing, a character and a setting, things get much more organized. I make myself fit what I think I want to happen into a one sentence format, like this:

When ______ happens, X must _____ or _______ will happen.

or

X must ________ before ________ happens.

It's kind of Mad Libs-y, but it gets the character, conflict and stakes down in around twenty words. Which is important. While all this is happening, I'm scribbling down possible scenes, subplot points, character history. Sometimes the one sentence will show up immediately. Sometimes I've got to work to get it out. If I can't get the one sentence down, it means I don't have a plot because I don't have conflict or stakes. This is another place where I can go back to the drawing board.

Once the one-sentence is done to my liking and I don't feel like I'm trying to stretch just to get writing and this is something that I really want to run with, I get to the dreaded query. Really, it's just fleshing out the one sentence and adding set up, setting, and pertinent information that couldn't fit in the one sentence. For me, once the sentence is written and I have a real grasp of where I want to go with something, I write the query. 

Once I get the query done, I get to outlining. This is where I have to take all the randomness that I've been scribbling and try to  streamline it into a timeline that works. I have to pick out character arcs, story arcs, action arcs - anything that needs to move forward, backwards or sideways has to be pinned down and stuffed into this outline (or its margins). 

The last bit of this is the worst part. Synopsis writing. When I've got everything down I actually have to connect it with coherent sentences. This is the worst and best part. Characters come alive, subplots really start to shine, and I figure out - really figure out - how it ends, emotionally and physically. At the same time, this is when plot holes show up. This is when I have to pull out my outline and scratch things out, write things in, change things around. It painful, but at the end, I know pretty much everything. Or I hope I know. 

Yeah. So I know this post was really dry. But did it help? Even a little? Also - how do you start off a novel? Do you dive in or do you have a routine? Tell all! 

(that picture of mountains with the farming village is exactly what I've been seeing in my head for weeks now. how amazing is it that I found something that's nearly identical to what's in my head!?)

LATE NIGHT DECISIONS

So it's 2:00 am and I should actually be in bed. Because I have work tomorrow. And have to be up around 9ish so that I can get there on time. But I'm having a string of epiphanies that I wanted to blog about and knowing me, it'll be gone completely by morning time. So I should say it now (as incoherent as I may be) at this strange and late hour of the night.

I - and I think to a certain extent, every writer - am terrified of being a writer who spends years on a book. I'm terrified that the one idea I have is going to be the best that it's going to get as far as my creativity is concerned and that I'll end up being a one hit wonder (assuming I'm a wonder at all). I don't want agents or publishers or anyone to think that I'm a writer who obsesses over one manuscript and doesn't know how to let go or move on. Thoughts that I am that writer plague me at night, when I'm writing and when I'm trying to outline.

I've been struggling with Eidolon, my current work in progress. Struggling so much, it feels like I'm walking through tar to get to the heart of the story. I'm in love with the concept, with the characters and with what the story could be. But the words aren't coming. And while I struggle with it, my rewrite of The Scion begs to be written and reviewed and outlined and played with. When I daydream, I'm not thinking about Umeko or Jackson (the main characters of my work in progress) but of Behzad and Mihangel and Zainab. I'm not thinking of cyberspace and programming and the digital world but of castles and dark mountains and heavy mist.

And tonight (at two o'clock in the morning) I realized that maybe my mind is trying to tell me something. And maybe I should stop worrying so much. I've only been working on The Scion since November. November. And in my head, subconsciously, I've been racing everyone. I've been setting up deadlines and trying to measure up when my barometer should be me, not the world. When I should be writing what I love not what I want to love.

Don't get me wrong. I love Eidolon. I love it so much. But it isn't what I want to write right now. And even though everyone says this is a business, I think too many people forget that it's also a labor of love. You have to love it to do it. It's why we do it. And wanting to bang my head against my keyboard because I haven't found that place with Eidolon and knowing for every minute that I've found it with The Scion isn't how it should be.

I'm not saying that I should love it every second. But, from my experiences with the first two novels that I've written and the novel I'm writing now, I know how writing should feel for me.

What I'm saying when it comes down to it is I'm putting Eidolon on hold for now. And it pains me, because a part of me, the part that's racing to query and get an agent and get published, feels like I'm giving up. But I'm not. I'm doing what I feel is right and best. And most of me, all of me, feels like a huge weight  has been lifted off my shoulders. Like I'm free. And for me, that's what writing has always been about. Freeing myself. And that makes me happy.

THAT SECRET STUFF

So I should actually be writing, but I thought maybe I should get these thoughts down before  I forget them or they become less eloquent or something. Yes? Yes.

But first, you guys (if you haven't already) should hop on over to YAHighway and check out their amazing and stupendous three day giveaway that is filled with so many types of awesome I might actually faint. My cyber fingers itch to get my hands on one of those prizes.

Now. On to the thing that was on my mind.

This post is kind of directed at writers but mostly at readers (which I'm pretty sure every writer is. right?!).

The reaction often received in response to a heartfelt confession that I'm a writer ranges from 'oh, that's so cool' to a breezy 'oh, how nice for you. Are you published yet?' Since I've been confessing to my writerlyness since I was, oh, eleven, I've gotten used to it. I'm used to the people who don't understand publishing and the people who are your own personal cheerleaders and so on. Sometimes it's heartening, sometimes it's hurtful, and sometimes it rolls off my skin like water off a seal's back.

But one thing that is constantly jarring and invasive is 'when can I read your book?'

Not because I don't know that you mean well. Not because I'm greedy and don't want to share. But because my work, my writing, is a sacred part of me. I pour my dreams and hopes and thoughts into my writing. All of my characters carry a little piece of me. Every single word of my book has been read a million times. Every scene has been played over and over and over again in my head. All of it is so special and close to me that when someone says 'oh, can you email me your book' all calm-like I want to wrap it up and steel and shove it into the deepest part of my heart.

You can't just ask a writer to hand over their most prized possession. That's like asking a woman to hand over her new born child before she's even gotten a chance to say hello.

When I was in the 9th grade, I used to write poetry. I poured all my emotions into it. Every misgiving I had about life and society and love and grief came out into the little notebooks I carried everywhere with me. I shared them with very few people and when I did it was a secret. So when a teacher discovered that I wrote poetry and asked to read it, I felt hugely violated. And after I said no and she kept asking, the feeling of violation grew and grew.

If one of your writer friends evades you request or gives you a flat out 'no' respect it. Respect their wish to keep this deeply personal and private thing just that, private. Because you're basically asking them to hand themselves over to you naked. You're asking them to strip down in front of you and give you their opinions and hopes and dreams in a 200 page manuscript.

And that's not fair.

There's enough stress in writing as is. And even more in writing for publication. Don't add to it by demanding to see the secret part of them when they're not ready to share with you.

THANK YOU & STUFF

So today's blog is one of questions. Because I need you guys to talk me off of this ledge and back into sane writerdom (whatever that means). But before I start asking questions and force you all into a discussion (which is the whole point of the IntenseDebate thing) I wanted to say something that is sososo important.

THANK YOU.


Thank you so much for all your beautiful and thoughtful comments on my last post and on every post. Thank you for being who you guys are. Thanks for being down to earth and wonderful and understanding. Thanks for all your support and your smiles and your funnies. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You guys are awesome.

So yes. That.

In the last few weeks I've wrapped up revisions on The Scion, sent it off to betas and started working on another project (which I'm going to be secretive about until it picks itself up and starts moving) and am trying to ignore the numerous calls that The Scion is sending out to me.

Because it's going to get a rewrite. It's going to shift from contemporary fantasy to urban fantasy.

But I'm not allowed to work on it yet. I need time and space between us so that when I come back to rewrite, I have a fresh outlook.

It doesn't care. It wants to be rewritten. Now. So much that it is trying to kill my current project.

HOW DO YOU GUYS OVER COME THIS?? Ready? GO!

THE GUILT BURNS

With The Scion off to betas I've kind of been sitting on my hands. For a hot minute I was studying for statistics and my Arabic oral exam - but with that done and my last exam May 10th  - I kind of need something to do. Because, as I'm sure you all know, refreshing my email is not a very healthy activity. Ever.

So what do I do? I plot. 

Just before I typed 'the end' on The Scion I started scribbling around and was hit with a lightening bolt with this idea. And I loved it. I loved it so much I kept fiddling with it and helping it grow. I kept jotting down ideas and characters and possible plot arcs and images kept popping up in my head. I thought about tense and point of view and what kind of character I wanted the main character to be and how she was going to evolve and I was so very excited. 

Then revisions started to get serious right around finals time. And naturally, having no sense of self preservation, I made the choice to finish revisions instead of studying for that statistics exam that was the bane of my existence. And Veronica posted an amazing song on Twitter. This song. And my world kind of exploded. 

It was awesome. 

I got chills listening to this song. I saw an entire world rise up in my mind. It had holes, sure. But it was there. And it had a character screaming, telling me, 'Dude, I'm the Pretender.' And I was all, holy God what am I gonna do now? Why are you yelling at me? Why can't you understand that I already have a plan? 

So now I'm grappling between the beautiful, quiet story that I've been tending like it's my own, personal rose garden, and the story that kind of just blew my mind and was like 'Hi, I'm everything you ever wanted in a story. Write Me.' 

And I think that's okay. I think that sometimes writer's feel loyal to their ideas (or maybe that's just me???) but the ideas don't disappear unless you let them. You can write one story, and go back to that idea. And it'll have had more time to grow and might even be more awesome when you get back to it. 

So I still don't know what I'm going to do with this whole guilt thing. I'm fiddling with both ideas and seeing which one ends up more fully formed by my last exam. And I'm banishing the guilt from my mind. 

REVISIONS & WHY THEY SLAY ME

So, if you've been following my Twitter today (and the past couple of days) you know I've been making that final trek through revisions. Mind you, these are all pre-beta revisions. I'm sure I'll be doing it all over again once I get comments back from my lovely readers. Anyway, as I was revising, I was (naturally) reading the notes that I made to myself in the manuscript. I thought I should share them with you. Just so you know how well revisions and I don't get along.

It started out great. I was calm. Collected even.

Do we need this? See if you can fit the showing somewhere else instead of exposition.

Manchester or Lancashire? Pick a city.

Do High Born have the mind eye?

Second. Right?

Keep this time frame in mind. This is in August.

But you have a full fledged garden later on. Fix this!

 We get in around fifty pages, and I'm really panicking. If you remember my twitter from the first read through, you'll remember how much I freaked out. It translated to my manuscript something like this:

THIS MAKES NO SENSE. WTF!? SERIOUSLY. WHAT. THE. F***.

THIS. WHAT. THE. F***?!

But she was seeing Presence in the beginning. WHAT HAPPENED. THINK ABOUT THAT, HUH?!

THIS LINE IS ALMOST AS BAD AS FIERY BEAST!

THIS IS ALL COMPLETE BULLSHIT. FIX IT. NOW.

 Somewhere, a little later on, I managed to find a balance between the crazy and the rational actual giving of advice to myself.

Maybe make him a more developed character? Add some more to the beginning with him? OR CUT HIM LIKE A BITCH.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?! WHY IS SHE IN A SPIRAL OF DESPAIR. (I know why – I’m just being mean.)

Changing this – she got there a few days ago. Oi – the rewrite.

Awkward phrasing.

 But somewhere after that I just...I don't know. One word pieces of advice. LOLCat speak. Clearly, I was at the end of my rope:

OLDER.

UNNECESSARY.

MORE REACTION. !!!!

SOMETHING ELSE TO CATALYZE THIS MOMENT.

Maybe replace with were. Duh.

ALI IS THE BETTER RIDER. DON’T YOU KNOW ANYTHING?!

MOAR EMOTIONZZZZZ!!!

So...yeah. Thankfully, I had a few weeks between the time I wrote these notes and the time I had to apply these notes. And, to my surprise, I actually understood what I was referring to. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to study for the finals that I should have been studying for instead of revising. 

ON THE RAVEN'S WING: BECCA

ON THE RAVENS WINGS INTERVIEW SERIES 

On the Raven’s Wings is an interview series presented by Sumayyah of The Raven Desk blog. It interviews aspiring writers (both agented and un-agented alike) to get their perspective on writing, the business and life. Today, we've got Becca, owner of the blog Random Musings of an Aspiring Author. Be sure to check it out!

Q: Why don’t you tell us a little about yourself?
A: Umm, I’m 18 annnd I like chocolate annnd I started writing in the first grade. My stories were written in brightly coloured markers and featured the vice-principal dying in various gruesome ways. Hehe. I assume she annoyed me in some way. I was a twisted child.

Q: What genre do you write? What attracted you to this genre?
A: I don’t really stick to one genre. I’ve got a couple fantasy books, a few contemporary ones, an attempt at sci-fi, and I’m dying to have a proper go at dystopian. I do really like the world building and the lack of limitations in fantasy-based stories though.

Q: What are you currently working on at the moment? How was the story inspired?
A: My WIP’s very lousy working title is Fire and Ice. It’s a borderline-fantasy kind-of-dystopian thing. XD Basically it’s about a girl whose life gets turned upside down when her home becomes part of the front lines in a massive war. Her parents send her away to try to keep her out of the army, but that doesn’t work out so well, and she winds up falling for this captain who is always getting perilously close to committing treason. Then it starts to look like he’s in cahoots with the enemy, planning to help them invade and end the war, and she has to figure out who to trust and so on and oh this is not a good synopsis.

But anyhoo, the inspiration thing is a funny story! My house is right on a lake and last April when the ice was melting my sister and I got the brilliant idea to go row around the bay on an old windsurfing board. The ice was thin enough to break through and as we were ploughing trails through it and admiring the odd way in which ice melts (it turns into all these mashed-together little icicle things) I started getting an idea for a strange climate and the culture - my MC’s culture - that went with it. I thought to myself, “Self, you and I should should write a book about this,” and Self said, “Well, what’s the conflict?” and the obvious answer seemed to be, “Let’s start a war!”

Q: Is there a place you like to go to write? Are there any rituals you stick to when writing a story?
A: I usually write in my room, where it’s nice and quiet and I can do weird things like “research” how hard it is to climb out a window without anyone noticing!

Q: What is your favorite thing about writing? Why?
A: Ooh, that’s a hard one. I guess I just love getting to know my characters in so much depth, and discovering their stories. It keeps me amused. I honestly have no idea what normal people with their free time! I can’t imagine spending all those writing hours watching TV or something.

Q: If you had to pick a soundtrack for your current WIP, what songs/bands would be on it?
A: Hmm. Apocalyptica, definitely. It’s got an epic-battle fantasy feel to it that really suits the plot. Also a lot of Taylor Swift, I think. A lot of her songs make me think of my MC, who I suppose is a bit of a hopeless romantic.

And:
Ghost of You by My Chemical Romance
Just a Dream by Carrie Underwood
Godspeed by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Travelin’ Soldier by Dixie Chicks (because they’re all sort of war-themed)
Laughing With by Regina Spektor

Oh! I can’t forget Get out of This Town by Carrie Underwood. My little sister came running into my room going, “Listen to this! Listen to this!” The lyrics (ignoring the cheerful tone) fit the beginning of my WIP freakishly well.

Q: What is your favorite thing about your current work? Who is your favorite character to write?
A: Well, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything set in an alternate world, so I’m having a grand time making up my own slang and inventing the culture and so on. The whole war thing has also given me an opportunity to get into some really dark subject matter, which I’m rather enjoying. Hehe. As for my favourite character to write, it’s written in first-person, so I’m kind of stuck with my MC. I secretly find the love interest and one of my maybe-evil minor characters way more interesting though. Which probably isn’t a good thing.

Q: What plans do you have for the future writing wise? Any new ideas in your mind?
A: In my dream world I’ll get an agent and a book deal and in my uber dream world I’ll eventually make enough money off it to just write full time. *crosses fingers* I can hope, right? :D

I have one SNI floating around in my head. It’s still pretty vague but I think it will be dystopian and probably revolve around a society that’s run by the mafia. There’s a cute boy involved, of course, and Russian roulette.

Q: What keeps you from losing interest in your work? How do you make sure you finish a project?
A: Heheh, sometimes I do lose interest in my books. I think it’s probably because I haven’t worked out the plot well enough and it just sort of peters out - no real climax for me to work towards. I haven’t lost interest in my current one because I love the characters so much. There’s so much to them. They keep me entertained.

Q: What’s the best part of finishing up a novel?
A: Getting to query it! It’s one more opportunity to find an agent. :)

Q: What advice do you have for writers, both veteran and amateur?
A: Write what you want to write. And keep writing. Always, always, always keep writing.

THE POWER OF LOVE

So let me start off by saying that maybe my self imposed ban wasn't necessary. As I'm getting work done, commenting on blogs (if I haven't I'm sorry) and lurking around AW all while getting work accomplished. So, yeah. That's pretty much over. I'm here and what not.

So. If you're anybody that's anybody that's anybody, then you probably know about Sailor Moon. You know that it is fabulous and wonderful and made up of fantasmical moments that know no equal. And if you're on Twitter and doubly cool you know that somehow I managed to plant the idea in Margo's head to sit around and re-watch this fabulous show all day.

How, you  readers may ask, does this having anything to do with anything?


Be patient. I am about to tell you.

A few weeks ago, this person showed up at Absolute Write. She was happy and bubbly and really friendly and had me going 'Who is she? Also, how can I be like her?' She was Tahereh  and she was filled with love and sunshine. And a few days ago she wrote this amazing post about love and friendship and amazing awesomeness that pretty much made me want to weep with happiness.

I think, as adults, kind of adults, and people that generally want to live in the real world, we forget. We forget how amazing it is to believe in something as simple as love. And how this love - for life, writing, people, the world - can change everything. How it can make everything wonderful. How it can make roses bloom and birds sing and how it can make you happy.

And if you share that love? Do you guys know what can happen? The whole fraking world will explode in color. And Sailor Moon really gets at the heart of this. The entire show revolves on the power of love to change, and make things magnificent. And while it might be a bit of an oversimplification, I think that the real world sometimes forgets that at its heart, it's right. Love changes things. Love makes things better. Love is kind of really awesome.

So be Sailor Moon. Win love by daylight. Also, if you're cool, you'll remember this song.

THE FIRST DRAFT & WHAT LIES THERE

So, if you've been keeping up with me (which you might not have since I'm not that interesting) you'll know that I just finished my first draft of The Scion. It was fun, it was exciting and it was awesome. Then, after typing 'the end' in shiny caps and dancing and squeeing in delight, it hit me. It's not done. The fantastic (and terrifying) thing about writing is that you're never done. And if you think you're done, you're fooling yourself.

And I have news for you folks: the first draft will never be perfect. Even if you outline. Even if you spent months planning, and re-planning and making complicated logistical diagrams the size of China. When you write 'the end' the first time, that just means you're getting a break. In a few days (or weeks) you will have work to do. But how do you know what work you have to do?

Sometimes you don't. Sometimes you have no idea and in your eyes your baby is the sparkliest, most intelligent, most beautiful strange vampire/human hybrid that never walked (or crawled) the earth. (Also, this is a lie. LIE.) So, to balance out your clearly biased opinion, you need to ship it off to beta readers. Don't tell them what to look for. If they're smart enough, they'll know. (And they should be smart, FYI.) They'll find that plot hole, or this character inconsistency, or they'll tell you: um, dude, THIS MAKES NO SENSE. WTF?! (Except, nicer. Always be nice.)

So my advice: have fun with your first draft. You're going to have to fix it anyway. Jot down thing you know  you'll have to fix and during your first read through, go back and fix it. Then when it's as shiny as you can make it, send it off to beta readers. That is all.

THE DIFFERING STAGES OF MADNESS

STAGE ONE: determination
You are pumped. You are prepared. You are a little daunted. But you think it's doable. Twenty thousand words in week is doable. You sit down, stare at your screen and mentally scream, go! This lasts about an hour before everything goes to hell.
STAGE TWO: avoidance
The internet has all of a sudden sprouted all of these lovely gifts. Twitter! AIM! Yahoo! Blog posts! Deviantart! Everything and anything except Microsoft Word, which is really what you're supposed to be focused on. This can last anywhere from an hour, to the entirety of your madness.
STAGE THREE: confidence
You're in about three thousand words and stuff is happening. Real stuff. Shit's hitting the fan left and right. You can do this. You might actually finish on time.
STAGE FOUR: panic
Everything that you're writing is garbage. Why would anyone want to read this crap? IT  MAKES NO SENSE. Your career as a writer? ITS OVER. And it never even started. You stare at the screen, torn between sobbing and just getting to the part where you can write 'THE END'.
STAGE FIVE: relief
YOU FINISHED. The end has been typed. It might be crap. It might be swill. BUT ITS DONE. This is the part where you proceed to get up, dance like a mad person, and scream it to the world (or Twitter). You email the completed version to yourself, close Microsoft Word, and force yourself not to think about how, once your betas get a hand on it, you're going to be doing this all over again.

EDIT: Because I am still giddy and high (and chanting 'I'm done!' over and over again in my head) I spent a very long time making this! Click on it to make it bigger.

THE WRITERS SOUL (AKA WTF IS THAT)

So, first of all I wanted to thank all the fabulous people who congratulated me (even though YOU ALL TOTALLY MISSED THE POINT OF THE POST). It warmed the deep, and very cold cockles of my heart to realize that my happy news overshadowed the pictures of Agent Smith, Neo and Trinity. Which is ironic, because that's was sort of the point that my post was trying to make. So, maybe you guys did get something out of it.

On Wednesday I was talking to Rachel and she asked me very kindly to ask her questions that she could answer on her blog. At first I was asking questions that were a product of lingering hysteria, but then she asked me to be dignified and I couldn't exactly say no. I understand just how very important dignity is. But apparently I was a little confusing because she didn't understand what a writer's soul was, even though she answered the question admirably.

So what is a writer's soul? And how can a writer have both a soul and a writer's soul? To be honest, I have no clue. I was kind of spazzed and recovering from six days of studying for chemistry so I was spewing crack-tastic questions that would make Rachel think. But I'm going to attempt to answer it right now.

...

A writer's soul is what manifest's in your written word. It's what you put into your work; that piece of yourself that is so clearly you that when people read your work, they just know. You wrote it. No one else could have. It's that little bit of selfish oneness that every writer strives to imbue their characters and world with.

So, Rachel, I hope I answered that for you! And I hope it makes sense! What do you guys thinks constitutes a writer's soul? Was I completely off the mark or a little bit right?