Then I saw an article in the newspaper this morning. And I made up my mind. But before that I saw a vlog which also made up my mind (and I didn't even know it).
I need candy before I can start to tell you about this opinion.
So, the young adult literature world has (for some time) been all abuzz with talk about female sexuality. It's a hot topic that's been debated and talked about and explored forever. I have very strong opinions about it, about who gets to regulate it (if anyone at all) and whether or not women have it (because, apparently, some people think that women don't have red hot blood running through their veins. or hormones.). And when you boil it down, my opinion is this: choice and freedom.
I think it says a lot about the world over (not just some cultures, but by and large all) that there are a million and one ways to call a girl promiscuous and thereby degrade her character. I haven't heard one yet that does that to men.
In the past few months news has been trickling in from Europe about legislation to ban the hijab (Islamic headscarf) and people are rallying around it.They're saying 'Yes! Finally a way to liberate the women who are left behind!'
In the past few years, people have been making a move for greater sexual freedom and encouraging girls that it's okay to have a sexuality, it's okay to be sexual, in fact you should be sexual or you're weird.
I have news for these people (both the Europeans and the encouragers). You're both wrong. Because when it comes down to it - a woman's sexuality, how she acts (or doesn't act) on it, and how she represents it is up to her.
In most western, developed countries, a lot of emphasis is put on choice and the naturally following freedom of choice. And yet, left and right, the media, the world, the culture pressures girls to act one way or another. You must have the sexual appeal of such and such famous actress. But, if you have this appeal, you will be a slut, and everyone will shun you and oh, by the way, you're inviting rape. On the other hand, if you don't have this appeal there's a guy in your life that's abusing and controlling and wants you all to himself.
There is nothing, absolutely nothing, wrong with dressing the way you want. If you want to dress in mini-skirts and tear up the town and all that, it's your choice and your right. And if you want to cover up, and save yourself until marriage, that is also your choice and your right. It is up to no one but the woman what path she wants to follow and subscribe to.
As a Muslim, I choose to wear the headscarf, I choose to remain a virgin until I get married and I choose that I will shank any man that thinks I'm going to do different. Similarly, another friend can choose to sleep with her boyfriend, she can choose to wear tight clothes and strut her stuff, and she can choose to laugh in the face of the people who thinks she's wrong for doing so.
I think that as a world we need to stop trying to simultaneously suffocate and liberate our girls and women. Educate them. Let them choose. Don't make girls feel like they're sluts for choosing a sexual life. And don't make girls feel guilty for choosing to pick one sexual partner and stick with them. For not wanting to flaunt her body for you.
This guys, this is my fraking body, okay? God gave it to me. If I want to cover it up, you gonna have to suck it up and deal with it. If I want to flaunt it, guess what - you're still going to have to suck it up. As a woman of faith, I believe that God gave everyone free will. He gave us the ability to choose. And the choices I make, or anyone makes, are between myself and God. You can judge. You can make your disapproval known. But you cannot force me to do something other than what I choose. That is not your place. It's not your right.
Stop - stop - trying to get girls and women to fit your vision of what they should be. Women have a sexuality. And they have a right to flaunt it. But they also have a right to hide it from you. They have a right to draw lines or cross them. They have a right to be and the world needs to start understanding that trying to force regulation of that is going to hurt them. You're not liberating or enlightening anyone. You're making them angry. And you're taking away their right to practice the lifestyle that they choose.
ON FAITH, CHOICE & SEXUALITY