HI THAT'S MY COFFEE MUG

source.

The first week of school is winding down (yay!) and I have many thoughts about what this semester is going to be like. They go something like this:

1. Victorian Literature! Critical Methods! Race Theory! I am excite! 
2. Linguistics and translation theory - why have I never heard of you before, baby, where have you been all my live long life?!
3. Oh look, there's a twenty page research paper. And a ten page statement of purpose. And goddammit I'm supposed to graduate why why why...
4. Coffee. Coffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeeeeeeeee.

 In that vein: Every since I started college my mother and I have had a tradition. It's not an acknowledged one; in fact, I think if you asked my mother she would deny it as a tradition and more an accident. It's no secret that I'm a lover of all things coffee. So it follows that I would (and do, oh God I do) splurge a lot of money on coffee mugs. Ceramic mugs, shiny mugs, thermoses that keep coffee hot - coffee is my pride and joy and I will drink it out of a nice cup.

My mother doesn't really care what she drinks her coffee out of. Ugly mugs, short mugs, mugs with no handles - sometimes even glass. Until I return in May with my beauties and then all of a sudden she is very concerned that she go to work with one of my little delights in hand. By the end of the summer my cups have been microwaved, dishwashed, melted, burned, lost or cracked. I had a lovely ceramic mug and the handle snapped off while I was washing it.

Snapped. Off.

So I have compiled a list of things to keep in mind when caring for your, or your significant other's coffee paraphernalia.

• Check the bottom of the cup/mug/thermos before putting it in the dishwasher. Most of them have inscriptions that will specify if they are dishwasher safe. If they are not dishwasher safe, do not put them in the dishwasher.
• Most thermoses have a plastic exterior - this does not mean they are microwave safe. 
• This also does not mean they are safe to put next to a hot stove. Plastic melts, guys. Really.
• Some of the really fancy mugs have steel exteriors. Do not put in a microwave, for the love of God. Just. Don't.
• Ceramic does not mean heavy duty. It is the opposite of heavy duty. Opposite.
• Cousin's who are not old enough to drink coffee have no business touching your coffee mugs. In fact, if you do not drink coffee or judge me for my love of coffee and my morning coffee ritual get out. Get your blaspheming hands off my mugs and get out.
• Respect the mug. 

This has been a public service announcement. You're welcome.